If you are married, there might be a time when you and your spouse would have thought about how often you have sex and what is the average amount of sex that other normal married couples have after marriage! It is completely normal to wonder about such things and although the answer is not perfectly evident, the sex experts and therapists have shared their views quite a few times regarding this topic. Well, to know about How often do couples have sex, read the blog to find out your answers along with some additional tips that can help you get your intimacy time back on track post marriage (if you think it’s missing!).
All sex therapists have a question in their mind about what is the average numbers of sex committed couples have. The answer comes in between once a month or once a week.
According to Ian Kerner, Ph.D., there is no such thing called the right answer.
When a couple refuses to have sex, the relationship between them becomes prominent towards anger, infidelity, detachment, and ultimately divorce.
Needless to say, a couple’s sex life is affected by a number of factors such as lifestyle, age, the partner’s health, natural libido, and the quality of their relationship, etc.
Well, there is no answer to this question that can be considered as “the appropriate one”. It is generally advised by the sex therapists and experts to at least try having sex once in a week.
Around 26% of couples have sex once in a week. The majority of couples were reported to have sex once or twice a month or even less than that, according to a research where 20,000 couples contributed for analyzing a study.
According to another study that was published in the University of Chicago press around 10 years ago, married couples have sex around 7-8 times which is a little less than twice a week. The third study reports that the older participants as compared to the younger generation couples have sex about two to three times per month.
How much sex for a successful marriage?
Most of the sex therapists believe that if you have sex with your partner less than 10 times in a year. It is a big reason that can label your marriage as a trouble that will not last. If you don’t have a romantic relationship with your partner, your marriage is nothing but a big mess, as stated by Schnarch.
Sex is a way through which couples express their love and desire for each other. But, this doesn’t mean that lack of sex will lead your relationship to a breakup. This is certainly something that you should take care of if you don’t want any bad feelings for each other.
According to Dr. Kerner, having sex has become the least common thing between the couples these days. It has been researched that when couples stop having a romantic relationship in between, their bond becomes vulnerable to detachment, anger, and ultimately divorce. Sex actually matters to build a strong relationship. It glues the couple together and in its absence, couples become good friends or roommate at worst.
Age is also one factor and so is the mood and environment. Look at two screenshots of a survey posted on quora-
How to get your sex life back on track?
There are a number of factors that should fall into place when it comes to having sex.
The most important factor is a person’s desire.
When there is a difference in opinion among couples, it can lead to a big problem.
According to Al Cooper, couples generally don’t have a problem with sex but agreeing to have sex is a major problem. There is no fixed timing or mood in a day when a person will desire of having sex. The mood can come up any time of the day or night. The major point here remains how well a couple negotiates at times to agree to each other and how to handle each other’s moods. In every relationship, sex requires compromise at times especially when one partner is not in the mood whereas the other wants it.
There are tons of work what you think of doing on a daily basis ranging from laundry, cooking meals, cleaning the house, doing work and other things that might seem more important to your partner than a quickie. But, if you want you can make your sex life fun again. As stated by Kerner, when you stop doing sex on a regular basis with your partner, you get stuck in a slump but when you get back on track, you will realize how much you missed it.
Scheduling your sex timing and getting in the right mood can make you more intimate. Hugging each other every day, spending some time doing certain exercises that we increase the testosterone level, turning off from distractions such as TV and computer are some of the best ways you can get back your sex life on the track. If you still find problems to be able to engage in intimacy with your partner, it is advised that you consult a sex therapist who might understand your problems and of your partner’s and help you get your sex life back.
How much sex will make you happy?
According to an interesting study it has been found that happiness depends on sex. It also concluded that more sex is helpful for having a healthy relationship.
The study that was published by Society for personality and social psychology surveyed 30000 couples for a period of 40 years. According to the researchers, having sex once a week with your partner is enough to lead a happy life. But do not make it an excuse not to have more sex.
You might be interested in having more sex with your partner or less often, this is just an average percentage that has been concluded after the research. It is best to talk to each other and figure out what works best for both of you. You can treat sex as a great stress reliever, it can bring you both closer, and if you want you can have as much as you want.
These days, couples have a number of distractions that keep them away from sex. Most people are connected to devices these days. If a partner is found watching videos, TV, texting or updating the social media feeds, it is totally disobeying their partner and their sex life as well.
According to Andres, the immediate gratification can be considered more compelling than deciding on getting in the bed and having sex. Although people know sex tips longer gratification and also have a bigger payoff, they consider going for fast and easy ways. Couples need to reclaim their bedroom and use their time to spend with each other instead of updating social media accounts.
What to do to satisfy your partner’s needs?
You need to figure out what works best for both of you when it comes to satisfying each other’s sexual needs. If one of you is interested in having sex 3 times a week and the other is not, you can go for the other sexual acts that can help you as a substitute for actual intercourse. You can carry your own research and give a definition to this idea and find a solution that benefits both of you.
Is scheduling sex life helpful in bringing back the spark?
You might imagine of having a romantic and spontaneous sex life, but it is best as a picture in your help because it is hard to find time for actual sex and romance in this hectic life schedule.
According to experts, couples should schedule sex like everything else in life. Like you schedule your class timings, looking at your phone, driving a car to your favorite place, you also need to prioritize your sex life like you give importance to other things.
Most of you might think that a weekly date night can get back your romantic life on track but most couples end up in a food coma in there date night and do not focus on having sex afterward. It is best if you have a babysitter to take care of your kids out, have your sex and then go out for dinner.
When should you seek a sex counselor?
If you are feeling rejected or your partner is not paying attention to what you are saying and you have no one to discuss your sexual needs, it is best you see a sex counselor as soon as possible. It is important to be open about the needs of sex with your partner otherwise you are the one who suffers in the end.
It is not that if you have problems in your sex life you can only then see a therapist, even the happiest of the couples can consult a therapist. Therapists are always a solution because they ask questions that you might have never discussed with your partner. Consulting a sex therapist is always helpful. It makes you learn more about yourself and your sex life and the ways you can improve it.